Skip to main content

Lama Sabachthani- by Reinesha Jarman

Lama Sabachthani

One more. 3 shots. One life. 
One law. Two men. One’s rights. 

Endless tears. Heightening fears. Safe places. 

God’s peace. God’s grace. God’s favor. 

I am numb. 
There are far too many words that I can say, but none will be heard. All will be analyzed. None heeded. 

I am reminded of our savior’s cry “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭27:46

There is a deep seeded fear to be the “perfect” black citizen. To neglect the beauty in my culture. To keep myself safe. To change my vernacular. To be acceptable. To be wholesome. If not, it is to lose one’s life. 

Lama sabachthani?

Where did He go? Why is this happening? Again. 
Why don’t you love my people? Why don’t you make them love my people? Why must we defend ourselves in life and death? Why must we die?

Where do I find peace in this? Where do I find joy? God, where are you?

Lama sabachthani?

Reinesha Jarman has been a member at Northside for four years (just a little MIA for in the middle). She is currently pursuing her MSW at USC with a specialization in Adult Mental Health and Wellness and Military Populations


  1. Sweet sister, I am so grateful for you, but confess that I fall completely mute before the questions you raise. Thank you for the gift of raising them in this vulnerable lament, and for the gift of YOU in our church family.

  2. Rein, thank you for such a raw and healing post.
    Romans 12:15
    "..., and weep with them that weep."

  3. Rein, you leave me speechless. Thanks for sharing your words of truth and vulnerable questions. I am so thankful for you.

  4. Love you so much, Rein. So thankful for you.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Two unbearable griefs- by Adrianne Thompson

To my American church family: If we need grace to bear with each other through Covid-19, you can only imagine how much grace we need to bear with each other as we try, as one family, to lament and grieve Ahmaud Arbery’s murder. Lord give us mercy. We must pray fervently because the enemy would love to help us to despise one another for so many things right now. There is so much to be grieved. There is so much to be enraged about. It is unbearable. Lord help us to do that well, and better, as one body.  For those of you I don't know, I'm grieving, lamenting, weeping, not sleeping, wailing, raging as a white mother of four children, one of whom is a black 12-year old boy. To the part of my church family who experienced such significant gut-wrenching trauma this week, I love you. I think I've only tasted such a small bit of the trauma still, and it is so utterly unbearable I can't breathe, sleep or stop crying. I pray God gives you spaces to lament and grieve safely

The ARC of Racial Justice - a Reflection and Exhortation from Pastor Matt Lorish

Here we are again. The video footage of Ahmaud Arbery is all over social media. It is a time for lament and a time for righteous anger. I write this blog post as a continuation to the initial posts offered by Northside Church members. My aim in this post is to help my fellow white brothers and sisters think about where we go from here. At the close of Jemar Tisby’s book, The Color of Compromise , he introduces a framework that he calls the A.R.C. of racial justice. Using Jemar’s framework, I’d like to humbly offer some application points that I think are important for me and my fellow white sisters and brothers at Northside Church to move towards. I also write this as a Christian pastor. Christians of all ethnicities are Bible people. The end-game for us isn’t just racial justice. The end-game for us is conformity to Jesus and honoring Him. Racial injustice is one of the areas in which we need God’s Spirit to change us, grow us and conform us (Rom 12:2, 2 Cor 3:18). My prayer is

Rehumanization in Realtime: Waging War Against White Supremacy - Charles Lewis

White supremacy kills. One reason why white supremacy kills so easily is because its legacy is one of attempted dehumanization. I say “attempted” because if you are a human being then you are created in the image of God and no power of hell, like that of white supremacy, can take that away from you. However in its attempts to dehumanize – to make us less than human – real cosmic damage can, has, and will continue to occur. 400 years of lives being cut short and livelihoods being plundered; from the plantation to the parkway. It’s easy to cut human life short when you see said life as being just short of human. The dehumanization process happens by dictating what is truly human through a grid of whiteness, and by divesting persons of color of their freedom to flourish fully in the imago dei that God has given them. Dehumanization – by way of dictation and divestment, has been codified in American law for centuries and has left an indelible imprint on the American consciousness in